Saturday, November 1, 2014

The problem with boring knits...

My Minions,

In the last four days I have added exactly six inches of knitting to the Prime Minister’s scarf for a grand total length of nine inches. 


You’ll recall that I had originally planned to knit six inches per day but upon picking it up next negotiated myself down to 20 rows per day.  When I got to ten rows, I declared victory and moved on to more interesting endeavors.   I then decided that if I was going to finish this scarf before the weather got too cold, I needed to knit while on galactic alignment conference calls.  These calls require that I be listening and speaking, which prevents me from working on other universal duties.  Since the scarf pattern is not mentally challenging, this was a perfect compromise that would allow me to make progress on the scarf while working on more interesting things during “my” time. 

Minions, I've never found galactic alignment calls to be interesting and noteworthy until this week. So I made another compromise with myself that I would knit away one ball of yarn for the scarf per week.  The scarf requires five balls of the Knit Picks Swish Worsted that I’m using, so one ball per week would mean completing it before December.  But I think Knit Picks lied about the yardage in each ball because I could swear I've knit at least 110 yards per day and yet my first ball of yard stubbornly continues to exist.  It’s either that, or the yarn knit from the ball is regenerating overnight.  Regardless, based on the rate of creation, I estimate this scarf will be completed just in time for spring. 

In my avoidance of the Prime Minister’s scarf, I started working on a Christmas gift for the Empress Mum. Upon hearing this past July that I was going to learn to knit, she deftly requested an ear warmer/ headband thingy and a pair of mittens in grey angora for when she goes skiing.  Irritated that she would be so thoughtless as to start making requests before I actually learned or had time to selfishly enjoy my new craft, I firmly told her no.  But then I found the perfect yarn in the perfect color for her headband and mittens, which I immediately bought because my yarn store might run out and decide not to restock.  Or the internet could inexplicably stop working forever!  Or the future may hold a shortage of the perfect grey dye!  Or bunnies!  Clearly there was substantial risk that I might not be able to obtain the perfect yarn when I needed it.  I’m sure all of these possibilities have run through your own head when the perfect yarn manifests itself.  Anyway, I started knitting the headband as an excuse to avoid the scarf. 

This is the Diana Headband by Purl Alpaca Designs.  It’s my first adventure in cabling and I think it’s going well so far except for one little problem - the perfect yarn scares me!  Just look at it, all fluffy and delicate looking. I’d be terrified to wear this skiing!  I have visions of the Empress Mum falling down, the headband disintegrating into a cloud of airy grey fur that chokes those unsuspecting skiers shooshing down the slopes behind her...

The thought of all that death and destruction on my hands lead me to starting Cozy Little Toes socks for my fairy godchild. 

Now, I know there’s not much there, but have you ever seen anything so crapping cute in all your life?!?  Me neither!  Imagine how much cuter they will be when they are finished and on her tiny toes!

Until next time,

Jessica, Empress of the Universe

No comments:

Post a Comment